Here's A Tip: Just Do Your Job!
So I'm filling out a check today to pay for my Sunday subscription to the local paper here in Louisville, The Courier-Journal. It's for $8.90, which gets me the Sunday paper usually four times a month, plus some pretty ridiculous holidays (so the CJ can charge advertisers a higher-rate on those days because of "higher circulation"). (Sound of "bullshit" muffled in a cough) Those days are New Year's Day, Martin Luther King Day, President's Day, Good Friday, Oaks Day, Derby Day, Memorial Day, the day after the July 4th, Labor Day, Columbus Day, Veterans Day, Thanksgiving and the day after, Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. The idea of extra readership or circulation on MLK day, President's day or Good Friday is patently absurd. But, I really think the day after July 4th is my favorite. But, I'm getting off the subject...

Anyway, so I'm writing the check for the $8.90 and filling out the little tear-off coupon to send back in and there's a section marked "carrier tip for outstanding service." I've never paid a whole lot of attention until recently when I started trying to identify things that piss me off.

Ding, ding, ding! Here's one of them.

I'm already paying $8.90 a month for four Sunday newspapers, whereas if I got off my lazy ass on Sunday morning and went to a paper machine, I could get all four for a total of $7. As you can plainly see, I'm already paying a little bit of juice for the convenience of having the paper delivered. My assumption would be that some of that extra money would go to the guy the CJ is paying to deliver my paper. So, I guess my point is, why should I be expected to tip some guy EXTRA to put a paper in my box four times a month. ISN'T THAT HIS JOB? It's not like he's wrapping mine in gold-leaf and kissing me ever-so-gently as he leaves it for me in my bedroom on Sunday morning. Now that would be going the extra mile. Then, I'd tip! No, he's putting my paper in my box just like he's putting the guy's next door in his box. Very simple. Step 1)Take paper out of stack. Step 2)Put paper in box. Step 3) Repeat. Very simple. Show me the part that requires a tip for "oustanding carrier service." Should I reward him for not taking a steaming dump on my lawn?

I'm not really trying to single out the CJ since lots of industries employ people who accept tips. Don't get me wrong, I'm not bitching about wait staff. Those people make less than minimum wage and rely on customers' tips to supplement their income (the argument made in Reservoir Dogs not withstanding). They depend on tips and I tip them at least 20%, usually even for BAD service. So, don't think I'm just a cheap bastard.

My beef is primarily with deliverymen, cable guys and the like. I bought $1200 worth of furniture a few weeks back to which the furniture company also tacked on a $50 "delivery charge." Gee, thanks. So, the guys come to deliver it and it takes them about 10 minutes (tops) for a couch and an overstuffed chair. No big deal, right? But now I feel compelled to tip these guys. Same with the cable guys when they hooked up service at my new house. This is what these people get paid to do, correct? Am I missing something? Why is there an expectation of something extra when nothing extra has been performed? Oh, I hear what you're saying, "Hey, maybe those guys weren't expecting a tip." You might be right, but somewhere, sometime, that trend got started by a couple of jerks so now if you don't tip it makes you look bad. This whole thing just pisses me off. I've got a refrigerator being delivered Friday, people. I'll let you know what I decide.