My Blackberry's Bigger than Yours
I was coming through the parking garage today into one of our medical office buildings and ran across a real life amish family. Yes, I suppose they could've been Mennonites, which I know isn't exactly the same thing, but I'm too lazy to go to wikipedia to understand how they're different. So let's assume they were amish. The guy had on a black hat, wife had on the white kerchief, kids were dressed like Laura Ingalls Wilder, the whole thing. It reminded me of the joke on Weekend Update on SNL a few weeks ago about the amish guy trying to fire off an angry email about his service outage on an actual blackberry. They showed a picture of an amish guy with a fluffy beard holding a small blackberry (the fruit) and frowning. It was hilarious. Anyway, this post isn't about the amish so much as it's about the Blackberry.

The sad truth is, the Blackberry (the device, not the fruit) is a major form of validation where I work. If you have a Blackberry, someone thinks you're doing a great job. Someone thinks you're important enough to reach whenever and wherever you are and that the company should provide you with a means of communication in those instances. I do not have a Blackberry. I asked for one and my request was denied. Apparently I need to move up one more level before I can be trusted with a Blackberry. Like the blackberry itself, this is a bittersweet realization.

In all honesty, I do not welcome the idea that I should be accessible at all times to the people I work with and for. On the other hand, a Blackberry really would make my job easier during work hours and even during hours, especially when I'm offsite, which is often. Regardless, if I can't even get a Blackberry, what hopes do I have of ever getting a promotion.

I suspect someday I'll get a memo like this, which was the equivalent of my parents telling me "We'll see" when I was a kid:

Dr. Mr. Holder:
Your request for a Blackberry has come to our attention and, for a number of reasons, your request has been denied for the time being. It is the consensus of the management team that you cannot yet be trusted with a small, electronic communication device. In lieu of a Blackberry, you will be given both a dorm-sized refrigerator and a record player for a probationary period not to exceed six (6) months. If during that time you demonstrate the appropriate oversight of these two devices, you will be given an 8-track player and a VCR for another six (6) month period. During the next 24 months you will receive two additional pieces of electronic equipment to manage each six (6) month period based on the schedule below.

• Period 1: Dorm-sized refrigerator, record player
  
• Period 2: VCR, 8-track player
• Period 3: CD Alarm Clock, George Foreman grill
  
• Period 4: Walkman, Gameboy

As you can see, the units will be of decreasing size, but will increase in difficulty of use. After the 24-month period, this board will reconvene to review your electronic device management success and will vote by secret ballot on your aptitude in this area. Thank you for your request. We will contact you again in 24 months.

The Management Team

So, you know, this is what it's come to -- I'm looking for job validation in the form of a tiny computer that fits on a belt. I don't really want a Blackberry per se, but I like the idea of knowing that if I wanted one I would be trusted with one. I guess the mini-fridge and the record player will be along soon. We'll see.