Why I hate Starbucks
For many years I have hated Starbucks. My brother-in-law would tell you I hate Starbucks because everyone else likes it and I guess maybe there's some truth to that. I really do like to avoid bandwagons whenever possible and if Starbucks is anything, it's definitely a bandwagon. "Climb aboard, lemmings! Overpriced coffee and homogenized ambience is just around the bend." More on this later.

Even before I started noticing multiple charges for $4.61 hitting my bank account 6-8 times a month (my wife's the culprit) I have very much disliked Starbucks. It drives me nuts that some of the very same people who profess their hate for Red Lobster and Olive Garden and turn up their noses at the huddled masses that flock to chain restaurants buy coffee from Starbucks 5 days a week. Starbucks is McDonald's. Starbucks is Walgreens. Dare I say it...Starbucks is Wal-Mart. That's part of what I hate.

I think the other thing I hate about Starbucks is that they so desperately want to be so much more than what they are. It's just coffee, people. Coffee. That's it. But Starbucks dreams big about being a consumer experience. Somehow, to Starbucks, the consumer experience justifies the exorbitant cost of black water. I absolutely love it that Starbucks's stock is tanking these days because of the increased competition of gas stations and Dunkin Donuts and McDonalds because that tells me that, when times get tight, ultimately what many consumers want to experience most is just a cup of coffee at a fair price. I love the fact that enough people have gotten tired of paying more for comfortable chairs they rarely sit in, indie rock that's just glorified elevator music and hip employees that are smart enough to be doing something more productive.

And finally, I go back to the main reason I hate Starbucks: because too many people I know seem to love it. I think I've underestimated America's fascination/dependence on flavored caffeine with italian names. I don't drink coffee. Never have. (Well, I tried it once in college and almost blorched.) I'm also caffeine-addiction free. I'll go days on end without any caffeine with no effect at all. I think, though, that many Starbucks devotees have a pretty serious caffeine addiction and the justification for feeding their addiction is that Starbucks provides such a fantastic experience that they're paying for luxury, not caffeine. What a load of crap. I guess it just seems to me that Starbucks is such a knee-jerk kinda thing. It's almost instinctive. It overrides logic. It trumps discretion. It takes common sense that says $5 for a drink is ridiculous and it smacks it around. Such is the nature of addiction.