4th Street Live Dress Code Discriminates Against Idiots, Idiots Disappointed

Since most of my readers are from here in Louisville, I thought I'd take a moment to express my support of the new 4th Street Live dress code. The dress code prohibits four things: 1) sleeveless shirts, 2) sports jerseys, 3) ballcaps worn backwards and 4) inappropriate dress for women. As you can imagine, these restrictions have drawn some criticism from plenty of people, mainly those who feel their constitutional right to wear stupid shit in public is being violated. I'm sure some people even see this as a form of censorship. (These people don't know the definition of censorship and they're very, very stupid anyway.)

So, let me begin by saying THIS about THAT: screw those people. The more I think about this, the madder I get. This dress code is not unreasonable. It doesn't say men must wear tuxedos with tails. It doesn't say women may only wear sequined ball gowns. All it basically says is, "Hey, we'd like to make this area the hub of Louisville's growing downtown night life. One small way to do that is by mildly restricting inappropriate dress. We're not asking for a lot. Give us a break, will ya?". Again, I think these restrictions are perfectly reasonable. But, you're always going to have nay-sayers and malcontents. Let me illustrate what I mean with this quote from the article:

"Some people have complained that the company has no right to restrict what people wear on a public thoroughfare. Others have said the restrictions appear to affect young African Americans and poor people most.

The Rev. Louis Coleman, head of the Justice Resource Center, said he filed a complaint over the rules with the Louisville Metro Human Resources Commission yesterday.

His group is planning a vigil and demonstration at Fourth and Muhammad Ali at noon Monday."

First of all, can someone explain to me how these restrictions appear to affect "young African Americans and poor people most"? Can poor people not afford sleeves? Give me a break. As for sports jerseys, has anyone stopped to price these things? They're $75-$200 each. If poor people are wearing these, I'd submit that maybe these "poor people" should be a little more budget conscious with their wardrobe. Maybe these same "poor people" shouldn't be spending what little money they have on overpriced appetizers and alcohol. Let's be honest, 4th Street Live's main patrons are not going to be poor people. I think it stands to reason that no successful company's business model is built on those with the least amount of disposable income, the Kentucky Lottery notwithstanding. Dress code or no, poor people will not be the lifeblood of 4th St Live.

Now let's be a little more honest: 4th Street Live simply cannot survive without the support of business people, suburbanites and college kids. Period. The management company knows this and within the bounds of the law, they're doing their damnedest to ensure that 4th Street Live is business people/suburbanite/college kid-friendly. What these people want is to eat and drink in a place that feels a) safe and b)just slightly upscale. A place frequented by rednecks, gang-banger wannabes and "poor people" is not a key ingredient for either a or b. If this dress code will discourage any of the above from patronizing the businesses within 4th Street Live, then 4SL has a chance to thrive in downtown Louisville. I'm sorry if I've offended anyone, but it's the truth and you know it, so deal with it. Now onto my next rant...

What does is say about us as a divided society when a guy that calls himself a reverend is planning a fucking VIGIL over the issue of sleeveless shirts and backward baseball caps? Memo to the Rev: Keep up the good work. I'm certain this issue is high on God's To-Do List. I think I see it listed at #3, just behind world hunger and widespread disease. Oh, and the demonstration is another great idea! I encourage you to continue to find discrimination and racism in EVERYTHING! In fact, I saw the other day where white bread is still America's favorite bread. Shouldn't you and the other watchdogs be boycotting Bunny Bread right about now?

Here's another quote I take issue with:

Shawn Beirne, a 27-year-old cosmetologist, said he does not think it is fair that women can wear tank tops but men cannot. "It gets hot here," he said. "This is Louisville, Ky., and it gets 90 degrees here."

Hmmm, interesting, Shawn. So, when the temperature reaches 100 (here in Louisville, Ky), what then? No pants necessary? "No Shirt Required" at the Olive Garden? If it's too hot for you, bitch, stay indoors. You're a dude and you actually told the reporter you're a cosmetologist?!?!?! Wow. I don't like you anyway. I'll be looking for you at the Lancome counter, dickhead.

And lastly, the most absurd little tidbit from the article:

The American Civil Liberties Union of Kentucky is watching the situation but has not yet taken a position.

I'll be waiting with baited breath to see what the ACLU decides. I mean, honestly. Is there any issue too ridiculous for the ACLU to take a position on? Surely even the most liberal definition of "civil liberty" shouldn't include the right to wear a tank top. Repeat after me people: "When I wear a tank top, other people feel embarrassed for me because I look so fucking stupid." Say it with me and commit it to memory.

Ok, I've said enough about all that business. I'm moving on. I, for one, think the restrictions don't go far enough. I'd love to see rules restricting ballcaps in general, cargo shorts, fat chicks wearing tube tops and ugly people. But, I guess that's a little too much to ask. As for the actual restrictions, I'll just say that, again, I think they're very reasonable requests. If you're among the people who oppose them or are negatively affected by them, let me be the first to invite you to drink at one of Louisville other four million bars or eat at one of Louisville's 26 trillion fast food restaurants. Oh, and be sure to remember "Reverend" Coleman's upcoming vigil. Supporters are asked to wear gang colors and to bring their own candle.